


the death of innocence

by HedaBates (spooninspoon417)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Kinda, Role Reversal, as if lexa wasn't always an innocent bean, en media res, flamekeeper!bellamy, general!octavia, heda clarke - thirst machine, innocent bean lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-10 18:24:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6968983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spooninspoon417/pseuds/HedaBates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unwilling to let hard won peace shatter, Heda Clarke devises a plan to infiltrate Skaikru's camp and learn the inner workings of the 100. What she isn't quite counting on is the strange allure of Skaikru's appointed leader, Lexa, or how far a few on both sides will go to bring about civil war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

The coalition – like all things in life – was fragile. Clarke knew this like she knew the sky was blue and the sun would set, but that didn’t stop her from using sheer force of will to keep the clans together. After all, no one had ever accused her of being complacent. Readjusting herself on the throne, she cut her blue eyes over to Bellamy, who gave a slight bow of his head at her silent request. 

“Heda.” He began. “Flodonkru has accepted your terms.” 

She gave a sharp nod, pleased. “I had no doubts of their loyalty.” 

Bellamy smirked. “Of course not, Heda.” 

“Ai raun, fleimkepa.” She scolded, standing from her seat in an effort to keep her limbs from going numb. “Any other news?”

“There are reports of an object that landed in Trikru territory and set fire to a village.” 

“Did you send scouts?”

“Octavia did, Heda. We should have the full story soon.” 

She watched him close for a moment, her body going cold with the thought that crosses her mind. “Did it come from the Mountain?”

“No, Heda. It came from the sky.” 

***

The pain was immediate, the pounding in her skull elusive and intense all at once. She could feel the blood trickle past her left eye, a bit of it gathering at the edge of her eyebrow and falling off the end of an eyelash. Her uneven gaze found it on the skin of her knee, bright red and careless. She groaned and tried to lift herself, only for her head to spin and send her to back to the ground. Strong arms pulled her to feet. The hold was familiar – uncomfortably so.

“Get off me.” She sneered, yanking herself away.

Lincoln didn’t let go. 

“I said, let go!” Her voice went tight and unforgiving around the demand. Lincoln’s compliance was reluctant. 

“How long are you gonna push me away?”

Forever. The word didn’t leave her mouth. Silence reigned, instead as Lexa surveyed their surroundings. The rest of the 100 were far ahead of them, whooping   
and celebrating. She couldn’t help the smile that touched her lips; that momentary joy almost outweighed the dread that ate at her guts. Almost. 

“We got thrown off course.” She finally looked at Lincoln, ignoring the guilt that fluttered inside her at the sight of his melancholic expression. 

Her ex-best friend glanced at the band around his wrist. “Well, these are still working. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

“Not much.” Lexa offered. “Let’s go make sure the idiots don’t get into too much trouble.” 

A laugh erupted from beside her. “When did we get elected to babysitter duty?”

“The second they decided to send us down here.” 

***

“Clarke, this is a terrible idea.” 

Clarke glanced up at her young general, her bright blue eyes glittering dangerously. “You dare to question your Heda?”

“When my Heda makes ridiculous decisions I do.” 

“Hold your tongue, Okteivia.” Her tone grew darker than the paint around her eyes. “I know what I’m doing.” 

“What if these people are dangerous? What if they kill you on sight? What then?”

“Then my spirit will choose the next Commander, as tradition dictates.” Clarke’s shoulders grew tense beneath her heavy coat. “I don’t want bloodshed, Octavia.” 

“They burned down an entire village.” 

“Their ship did.” 

“They fell from the sky.” 

“As did our first Commander, in case you’ve forgotten.” 

Octavia’s brow furrowed in disbelief. “Are you saying they’re…sacred?”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” 

“Then what are you saying, Clarke? Whatever you’re getting at sounds insane.” 

“Okteivia.” She warned again. “We don’t know why they’re here. We can’t just mindlessly attack. We aren’t savages.” 

“What about ‘jus drien jus daun?” 

“We have to at least try for peace.” 

“They’re on our land, Clarke.” 

“They had no way of knowing it was our land.” 

“I can’t believe this. You’re on their side.” 

“I’m on the side of my people. I won’t risk hundreds of lives out of fear.” 

Octavia entered her personal space unapologetically, one hand on the hilt of her own sword, the other on Clarke’s shoulder. “Do you know what will happen to the coalition if you fail? All the work you’ve done will be for nothing.” 

“I won’t fail. I will keep the peace, even if it kills me.” 

“And who will stand in as Heda while you’re gone?”

“My most trusted general, of course.” 

The reaction was minimal, but Clarke knew the girl well enough to know that she was panicking on the inside. “And who will escort you to their camp?”

“Marcus was kind enough to offer his protection.” 

“Everything about this is wrong.” 

“Yes. You’ve made your opinion abundantly clear.” 

“You’re not invincible, Heda.” 

“I never claimed to be.” 

Octavia’s eyes hardened around the edges. “Then, you must know that this is going to blow up in your face.” 

The Commander knotted her hands together and squeezed. “We’ll see.” 

***

The blood was making it hard to see, but Lexa fought through it. She continued to ignore Lincoln, even as he tried to make idle conversation. They gathered fire wood and set up makeshift camp around the remnants of the dropship, only stopping when there was enough warmth and shelter to last them. Lexa found it strange that the deliquents were far more capable than the adults still arguing on the Ark, but then again, she’d always known of the council’s incompetence. Anya’s fate had been proof of that. She forced the thoughts away, desperate to dwell on the present. She spotted Costia on the other side of camp and made her way over, shooting a non-verbal warning to Lincoln that clearly read ‘don’t follow.’ 

Costia’s smile made Lexa feel impossibly light, like she was back in space and solid ground was still a myth. “Hey.” 

“Hey. How are you holding up?” Concern colored Costia’s soft voice as she reached up and touched the wound above Lexa’s brow. 

Lexa grinned. “Well enough. I mean, we’re on Earth. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

“We’re criminals who were sent to Earth to die.” 

“We’re not dead.” 

“No.” Costia agreed, closing the distance between them. “We’re not.” 

“Lexa!” It was Emori, Lincoln close at her heels. “You have to see this.” 

Lexa blew out a breath. Maybe this leadership thing wasn’t a good idea. “What is it?”

Neither of them answered; they just turned and began to walk back the way they came, not even looking back to see if Lexa had followed. When they came to a stop at the very edge of the camp, she felt every breath in her body still. Lying against a tree was a girl, visibly battered and bloody, shallow gasps coming from her lips. Lexa shoved past her friends to drop beside the girl. Deep cerulean eyes met hers, marred in pain and curiosity. Lexa swallowed. “Are you okay?”

The girl shook her head. “The village – my village – is gone. I was fleeing when I found your camp. Who are you?”

Lexa wondered briefly about this village. They hadn’t stumbled upon any other civilization except this girl at her feet. “We were part of the Ark space station. Yesterday, we were sent down here to see if the land was habitable. Our station is dying.”

The confusion on the wounded woman’s face was expected. “You came from the stars?”

“I suppose you could say that, yeah. I’m Lexa.” She gestured behind her. “And that’s Lincoln and Emori. What’s your name?”

“Clarke.” 

“It’s good to meet you, Clarke. Can you stand? I’d like to help you if you let me.” 

She stood very gingerly, causing Lexa to reach out and steady her. A pulse of electricity went through her, not unlike the one she felt every time she looked at Costia. Oh no. Clarke leaned on her without hesitation, giving a grateful sigh when the weight was taken off her right leg. She led Clarke to the dropship and guided her to sit on one of the cots, her hands within reach if she needed steadying again. She chanced looking at Clarke only to find that Clarke was openly staring. 

Lexa cleared her throat. “I’ll go find Ryder. He was studying to be a doctor on the Ark.” 

Clarke gave a sharp nod. “Will you come back, too?”

“Of course.” 

***

Clarke came to a while later, the cot beneath her warm and contorted to her frame. Her body ached in the places where Marcus had hit her with the intention of putting on this performance for the Sky People. 

And that girl - Lexa, her mind supplied a bit too quickly - was fascinating. Clarke had never known such easy kindness, no matter how ill-informed it'd been. She'd been taught to be wary of weakness, but Lexa seemed to carry her worry for others like armor. Clarke didn't know how to react to it, except with a healthy dose of disbelief and dare she say a feeling of kinship. Maybe these people weren't so different from her own, after all.

“Oh, good. You’re up.” 

She turned toward the sound of the voice – that voice – and found herself compromised again. What in the name of the Spirit was happening. “Hello again, Lexa.” 

“Clarke.” The girl crossed the room like it was her kingdom, which Clarke quietly supposed it was. Her equal. Lexa of the Sky People. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” She answered honestly. “That healer of yours is impressive.” 

“I’ll be sure to pass that message along. Here.” Lexa moved to the side, allowing Emori, who was cradling an armful of supplies, to step past. “We brought you bandages and fresh clothes.”

“I’m grateful, Lexa.” A slight dash of pink colored Lexa’s cheeks. Clarke briefly entertained the thought that bashfulness suited the girl. Disturbed, she leveled her gaze. “The Commander is wary of your people and your very sudden arrival.” 

“Did the Commander send you?”

“No. As I told you, you burned my village.” Lies were easy. Always.

“Clarke, believe me. We didn’t know there were people on the ground. We were sent down here in exchange for pardons for our crimes.” 

“Crimes?”

Lexa’s mouth tilted into a self-deprecating smile. “On the Ark, criminals under 18 were imprisoned. At 18, they’re floated. The others and I were sent down here by the council. We all saw it as a quicker death than we would’ve gotten otherwise. We didn’t expect…” 

“Life.” Clarke finished, nodding her understanding. 

“Life.” The Sky Girl agreed. “I’m sorry about your village. We all are. I promise we’re peaceful.” 

“You’ll have to convince the Commander of that.” 

“How?”

“Simple. Stay out of the villages. Don’t use weapons. Don’t threaten any of us. The Commander will know what you do. Trust me.” 

“I barely know you.” 

Clarke stood delicately, careful not to put too much weight on her right leg. She’d have to get Marcus back in a sparring session one day. “Doesn’t matter.” They were standing close – too close for Clarke’s comfort, in fact. Lexa’s eyes were the truest shade of forest green Clarke had ever witnessed. Purer than the trees outside. Deeper. Hypnotizing in the way they seemed to convey every thought in Lexa’s head and every feeling in her soul. Clarke knew she was standing on the edge of a very particular cliff and on the verge of tumbling right off. 

Lexa seemed unfazed, but somehow, Clarke could tell the stoicism was cracking right down its center. There was an attraction between them that refused to be denied. Clarke hated it. She needed to get out of here, but her legs wouldn’t move. Jok. 

“Clarke.” 

A blink. “Yes?”

“If we don’t convince the Commander we want peace, what’ll happen?”

Clarke didn’t hesitate. “War.”


	2. Prologue, Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so short, but I've been working a lot and haven't been able to get a long chapter down. I didn't want to leave you hanging, so I've decided to post this. Next chapter will be longer, I promise.

Clarke awoke hours later with the remnants of a nightmare prickling at the edges of her consciousness. They were always the same: her mother’s abandonment, her father’s death, the stain of the black blood that cursed her to this life. It burned in her now, as if it were sympathetic to her pain. Clutching at the rail of her cot, she rose to her feet, disoriented and half out of her mind. Her strength returned soon enough, allowing her to take a few more steps out of the makeshift medical wing. Voices ringing along the corridor drew her attention. One of them was definitely Lexa.

Clarke couldn’t find it in her to be annoyed with the fact that she could already recognize Lexa by voice alone. “Take in anything useful, but be careful. We don’t know how many people are down here. Not all of them are bound to be friendly.” 

“We’ve already let one in. That’s probably screwed us already, Lexa.” A man. One Clarke hated in this moment, even if he was right. She was here to make peace, but that wasn’t the same as making friends. 

“We’ve talked about this, Quint.” Lexa admonished in that stern tone of hers. Clarke would take orders from her, if Clarke were one who took orders. 

“That doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.” 

“I don’t give a damn what you’re okay with, Quint. You’re gonna follow orders. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Commander Stick Up Her Ass. Lighten up.” 

The sound of footsteps headed Clarke’s way, making her flinch and attempt to conceal her eavesdropping. She wasn’t quick enough.

“Clarke.” 

“Hello, Lexa.” 

“You shouldn’t be out of bed.” The girl moved in close, concern coloring her gaze. 

Clarke felt unsteady once again. “I’m fine. I’m just not used to being bed-ridden.” 

“As soon as Ryder clears you, you can return to your village.” 

“I don’t think I can go back just yet. I haven’t seen all there is to see here.” 

“There isn’t much else.” 

Now, it was her turn to get in Lexa’s personal space. It was quickly becoming one of her favorite places to be. “I disagree.” 

“Do you?”

“Yes, Lexa.” 

It took a harsh clearing of her throat before Lexa was composed enough to respond. “I sent Quint and a few others on a supply run. They’ll be back before  
nightfall.” 

“And if they’re not?”

“If not, I’d be forced to spearhead a rescue mission.” 

“Would you blame their disappearance on my people?”

Lexa’s face tightened. “I’d blame it on Quint being a hot-headed idiot.” 

“You wouldn’t go to war to avenge him?”

“There aren’t very many good reasons to go to war, Clarke. Quint is not one of them.” 

She wanted to tell Lexa the truth. That they were exactly the same. The confession was propped on the tip of her tongue, right on the verge of falling out of her and into the void between Clarke and what was sure to be Lexa’s disapproval of her charade. “They should be grateful that you have chosen to lead them. There’s no telling what kind of danger they’d be in if you hadn’t.” 

“That’s what I keep telling them.” Lexa replied, a smile tilting the corner of her mouth. 

“You’re smart. Smarter than any of them…” The rest of Clarke’s praise dies on her lips, interrupted by the incoming sound of a commotion building outside.  
On instinct, Clarke headed toward it first, but soon enough, she found herself looking at the back of Lexa as the girl cut in front of her, as if to shield her from possible threats. Clarke couldn’t really explain the warmth she felt at the thought of Lexa defending her, because Spirit knew the girl was the verge of getting herself killed and Clarke was far from incapable of taking care of herself. She was Heda, after all. 

They emerged into the cool light of morning, finding a hoard of bodies heading toward the entry way, which was really just a collection of boulders organized into a walking path. Marcus was heading up that path, his hand clutched around the shoulder of a dark-skinned girl Clarke didn’t recognize. Lexa went tense beside her, though, so that explained a bit. Clarke worked to bury the rush of envy she felt at the prospect of this girl’s importance to Lexa. 

“Move!” Lexa bellowed against the push of the crowd; immediately, the wave of Skaikru parted. “What is the meaning of this?”

Marcus was calm, something Clarke knew to be his natural inclination. Nothing affected the man. It was part of what made him so excellent at his job. “This girl was looting through the remains of my village. Be grateful I didn’t cut her down where she stood.” 

“Costia.” Lexa’s tone softened exponentially, causing Clarke’s entire body to quake with a wave of displeasure. “Is this true?”  
The girl – Costia – struggled against Marcus’ grip. He didn’t budge even an inch. “Yes, but I wasn’t looting. I just wanted to see what we’d done.” 

Clarke studied the girl, only to discover that – much like with Lexa – she was fascinated by the almost effortless compassion. There were drying tear streaks, too, though whether they were the side effect of what she’d seen or of Marcus’ iron grasp was a mystery to Clarke. “Let her go, Marcus.” The words were clipped, leaving no room for argument. She hoped Lexa could feel it the way Clarke herself had earlier: They're the exact same. 

“Sha, Heda.” Marcus acquiesced, the girl falling away from him instantly…and right into Lexa’s arms. 

Lexa hugged her far too tight to be just friendly, Clarke noted bitterly, her gaze lifting away and toward Marcus, who’d moved to stand beside her. “What are you thinking?” He asked.

“I’m thinking that the coalition can’t afford to suffer because of misplaced fear.” 

“What about the Ice Nation?”

She continued to glare at Costia’s back, willing her to let Lexa go. “What about it?”

“The Queen won’t approve of the mercy you’ve shown Skaikru.” 

“The Ice Queen would be wise to hold her tongue about my decisions.” They finally parted and it was if the universe had granted Clarke’s greatest wish because Lexa was now looking at her. 

“Thank you, Clarke.” She said. 

She gave a silent nod in response, hoping Lexa picked up on her strange and immediate affection.

Marcus stepped in close, so as to ensure that only Clarke would hear. “Are they really worth a war?”

Her gaze was trained on Lexa, who hadn’t stopped fixing her with a look of thankfulness and pride. “I have a feeling they’re worth far more than that, Marcus.” 

*** 

A few among Skaikru took to hunting, much to Clarke’s surprise. There was already a stash of small animals – rabbits and other rodents – as well as berries and roots that had been hand picked by the younger children in the group. Clarke cataloged them now, looking to point out which among them was poisonous to Lexa. As it turned out, the children had good instincts. 

“This is impressive.” Clarke said, glancing over her shoulder at Lexa.

“We all took Earth Skills on the Ark. We know what poisonous plants look like, if nothing else.” She chuckled at Clarke’s baffled expression. “The Ark was put up in space in hopes that it would be sent back down to Earth one day, remember?”

Clarke had forgotten. She was still trying to get used to the idea of an entire civilization in space pining after the Earth. “What was it like – being up there?”  
“Quiet.” Lexa’s answer was immediate. “There’s no sound in space, so the only thing you ever hear is the whirring of the Ark itself. Mechanical, man-made sounds. Not like down here, where everything is alive and has something to say.” 

“Sounds lonely.” 

“It was. Even though everyone knew everyone else, there was still a kind of disconnect. The council made decisions strictly for our survival and some of those decisions…well, they weren’t the most humane.” She went silent for a second, contemplating her next confession. “They floated my sister.” 

“Floated?”

“They put her in the airlock and flung her out into space. It killed her instantly. It’s how crimes were punished on the Ark for those over 18.” 

“What was her crime?”

“Wanting to tell the truth. She was an engineer and she’d discovered that the Ark was running out of oxygen at a far greater rate than it was supposed to. She was going to tell the entire station, but the chancellor got to her before she could.” 

She laid a comforting hand on Lexa’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Lexa.” Tears trickled down from green eyes. Clarke watched them track their way down Lexa’s pretty face and felt everything inside her rebel against this girl’s distress. If the chancellor were on Earth, Clarke would’ve gutted him on sight for causing it. She didn’t say any of that, though. What she did say was, “Someone was taken from me, too.” 

Lexa locked eyes with her. The entire corridor seemed to still. The weight of what was passing between them was so immense that Clarke feared she would buckle beneath it. Still, she’d come too far to turn back. “My father was executed by my village for keeping me hidden from the capital. Lexa was intent on her. The words kept pouring out. “Some children are born with what my people call nightblood. I was one of them.” 

“What’s so special about it?”

Clarke allowed herself a breath before continuing. “Those born with nightblood are sent to Polis to train to become Commander. They are put through the Conclave with others like them. Very few survive and all are put through grueling physical, mental, and emotional tests. It’s designed so that only the strongest will succeed.” Another breath. “When my mother discovered what I was, she abandoned my father and I. That was why he clung to me so tightly and kept my nightblood a secret. I blame her for his death.” 

“I’m sorry, Clarke.” 

“It was a long time ago. I’ve gotten over the pain.” 

“That doesn’t mean it’s gone.” There was a now familiar compassion written into Lexa’s features. Clarke wondered if she’d ever get used to seeing it there. The next thing to make its way onto Lexa’s face was a small, closed mouth smile. “At least you survived the Conclave, right?”

Clarke let out a faint laugh. “I did more than just survive it. I won it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were curious, yes, Octavia is also a nightblood. That will be explained further in later chapters.


End file.
